Browsing the web just now, I came across an article about a man who lost his wife due to the hit, Twilight series. He mistakenly gave his wife the book, and her obsessive habits overruled their marriage. As sad of a story it is, it is a painfully true tale to many people. Not necessarily with the twilight saga, but with a multitude of other potential obsessions. Whether it be internal, or materialistic, obsessions can overrule feelings. Can feelings overrule obsessions?
An obsession is defined as something that “intrusively preoccupies the mind”, which will differ drastically for every individual. However, the end result of the equation, tends to be the same. Regardless of how, or what it is, when one has a liking to something, they focus their attention too much on that, not allowing for everything else in their life to be on balance. Aha, their life is not in balance. B-A-L-A-NCE.
Why do obsessions start? Obsessions can start for many reasons, but primarily when you find something of interest, particularly something that can help your mind escape from reality. You obsess about this subject, so that you don’t have to face the painful reality, and then you continue to hide behind this subject, because by then you have dug yourself into a further hole. This may sound obscure, however, this can happen even on a very minor level. It is also called filling a void.
My mother for example, is obsessed with yoga, which is ironic because she refused to do it for about ten years. When she finally started, whatever the feeling she got during it, it eased her mind and helped her escape from reality (sounds like a drug right??) Well, that is kind of what happens. When you like something, it releases dopamine and your body says- wow this is awesome, this is good, and then you start to crave that sensation again. You want that Dopamine rush. Just as drugs do this to drug addicts, this is what happened with my mom. However, she has become so into yoga and doing stuff for herself, which is awesome, but when looking at it in perspective, it really is shifting her balance scale further away from everything else in her life. By her getting one part of her life in check, it is slowly disintegrating other areas.
I suppose the best example would be myself. I am addicted to many things. I could call it studying, but lets just call it learning. I will be the first person to admit it. I would not say I am obsessed with getting good grades, but just with learning. I know how to get good grades, I know the effort that goes into it, and I know what my result will be. However, the dopamine rush comes not from reading the books, but from those grades that i desire, that my mind craves. It is scary because there will be hours and I haven’t thought of food, or days when i haven’t seen friends, and for some reason it doesn’t always phase me. Looking at it now, its very scary because I kind of go into this world, where that is the only thing that matters. And in reality, nothing should ever matter that much. Nothing, or No one is ever that important.
The last example, is about working. These days, many people work 50-60 hour weeks, and it is normal. How is spending 60% of your life working normal? It is not! However, society has played it in to everyone’s minds that it is, and that that is what is right. Working too aggressively has ruined so many relationships, because people either get too carried away, too power hungry, or simply use work to escape from the life at home that he or she does not want to face.
Obsessions, likings, hobbies, can be amazing things to your life, and everyone deserves to have numerous hobbies to keep their life balanced. Once the focus of hobbies drifts too strongly to one, it makes you lose sight of what else is out there, what else has potential. It makes you lose site of the joys and wonders that you already have in your life.
Let yourself be free, don’t let obsessions tie you down and burying your life into a hole of fear, and shame.